So Old, So Young, by Grant Ginder: I'll Be There For You (Probably)

One of the most fun parts -- and there are a lot of fun parts -- of reading Grant Ginder's new novel, So Old, So Young, about a group of college friends through 20 years of love, life, loss, and partying, is trying to figure out which of these characters you most identify with. Are you a Mia or a Sasha? A Marco or an Adam?

Yes, this is one of those "friends-through-the-years" stories I love so much, and I must say, it's a paragon of the genre in how relatable it feels. What makes it so interesting is that it's centered on five particular parties/gatherings/reunions over the course of two decades -- from 2004 to through 2024 -- of this college friend-group. You'd think this would make the novel feel episodic -- like we're just checking in on these people once every couple years. But a strength of this book is that it is a master class on how to integrate backstory. All of these characters' stories feel whole -- like we didn't miss anything by not seeing them for a couple years.

And further, each character feels full formed, unique from the others, and absolutely fascinating. Ginder takes great pains to convince us to empathize with every one of these people in different ways. For instance, he got me to care about a wealthy, adulterous, "purposefully busy," suburban mom -- and I can tell you, THAT is no small feat. 😅

Through the years, these characters fall in and out of touch, fight and reconcile, harbor grudges against each other, and develop rivalries with their friends' new friends. Basically, life.

But Ginder gets all of those so right. His eye for detail is thorough and his rendering of how relationships evolve is insightful and true. A character struggling with a decision at one point thinks about how each decision she makes cuts future possibilities in half, and the older you get, the more decisions you make, the fewer future possibilities you have, and how do you even go on living with such a depressing thought? The answer: You find something you love.  

And speaking of love, the main throughline is Mia and Marco, a pair who meet on New Year's Eve in the first pages of the novel. They date. Then they don't. And the rest of the novel is about will they or won't they again. 

My advice is to first read this terrific book. Then, send it to your college friend group and fire up the group chat about which character you all think you are. And then hope you're still all friends. 😅